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I am thanksgiving (and other song offerings)

by Gallus Gallus

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1.
i want to love you i want my love to reach your ears i want to give to you you could trust me with your fears and still i sense from your hesitation you know just as well as i do my love would fail you my love's as human as my death my towers crumble my bridges burn under warrior's breath my songs are silly likely misunderstood and possibly could be used for ill and still, you love me you reach me lazy, deaf, and blind you shut my dumb lips. you give me silence i forgot was mine you need no bridge, just for me to sit there- listen and be still and then i wake up and remember you're already here you're in the rubble of my brokenness and tears you're singing my silly songs and saying "these ones are good" and i am with you and i forget you all the time and that can't kill you because there is no lost time and as i sing to you, you join in, i hear your voice in mine thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thanksgiving, thanksgiving, thanksgiving, thanksgiving, thanksgiving, thanksgiving, i am thanksgiving I AM THANKSGIVING
2.
people keep on dyin got no tears for cryin something half passed numb death revealed as dumb spirit realms too open nothing on earth to hope in people fly toward the high grief compounding multiplied he sent an email to the man a psychic adjustment was the plan they would talk in twenty twenty hindsight says he was too empty (or too full) to wait another day to put off a final hang
3.
charbonneau do you have an end i can't see it i want to know charbonneau are you just like me are you just like everyone are you and endless river or just a painting on my window charbonneau are your days numbered less and can i guess them
4.
god- in the face of hopelessness you disappear looks like you were never real, never really there. and if i cannot place you, then i cannot hate you and i never did - never will i try to love you but I don't know what that means when you're up and gone as the world comes apart at the seams these poor folk looking for a rest, in your supposed care- they keep trying to find you in the thought of almost there oh god - are you hopeless, like me and my friends? do you insist out of reach beyond every touch, past any end? and is there beauty in this cosmic joke? is it somehow tragically true? that you need us more than we could possibly need you. are you trapped in darkness- are you stuck in sin? are you lost in nothing- are you drawn within? and if you were lonely would we ever know? unanswered question for you unknowable. so, when i'm lonely i will keep my solitude reach out for nothing and in nothing - i'll find you.
5.
like dew 01:43
how many words would it take to finally say the last right thing how many days- how many ways and means how much quiet would i have to sit through to finally understand to arrive at the summit- the peak of the promised land bring it back back back bring it on back to the center where it's tipsy to the moment it starts slipping could i bring it back here now right here where i am utterly torn asunder but it doesn't feel like thunder feels like dew dew drops dividing in two
6.
do you remain do you remain do you maintain are you still the same do you remain through thick and thin beyond big ol' bang inside space within when it's story time seems you run for the hills leave us to our devices give us time to kill i've made you up in my mind thousands of times from projections and pearls before humans and swine do you remain do you remain can you maintain are you still the same if you told us a story there'd be no beginning or end we'd get so dang confused we'd probably kill you again it seems that everything fails and everything falls everything tears apart and at the center is a broken heart and i still love you as you tear apart somehow you remain hiding in every secret part do you remain do you remain can you maintain are you still the same
7.
looks feels 03:04
8.
are you like everyone else are you like charbonneau do you bend out of view i really need to know know how to call you and if everything new is something ready to die then you've been falling apart falling for a while - for a while in your parts and pieces is there place for peace does this great big puzzle have an end cause i'm tired i'm tired i am tired are you tired you seem tired you're like nothing i've known you're just like charbonneau and you really can't seem can't seem to let me know know how to call you
9.
10.
beloved 04:41
oh remember you are loved oh remember be loved

about

I set a creative goal to finish a screenplay in fall of 2019. these songs happened instead. inspired by Rabindranath Tagore's song offerings. also by Bonnie Prince Billy, Mount Eerie, Peter Rollins, Jack Caputo. also by people I know that feel hopeless much of the time and are trying to hang on. deals with faith, doubt, life, death, love, loss, hope, hopelessness, god and nothingness... you know, for kids!

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released November 28, 2019

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